Well, not many of you were very interested in contributing to my post on Depression, but that isn’t going to stop me from taking another stab at Introversion!
So today, as happens on many Sundays, I was reading the NYTimes and saw an article of interest. This article is one I enjoyed because of its new twist on another subject we’ve been writing about for some time, introversion. The author, a columnist and contributing editor from the Greater Boston Area, considers whether using the excuse of being an introvert is really just a rationalization for simply being rude. I particularly liked the part where she notes:
“Society has a rich history of people seizing on social evolution as an excuse for bad manners. From the Romantic poets to the transcendentalists to the Summer of Love hippies, many have rejected a supposed facade of good behavior in favor of being true to their inner nature. Good manners are mere mannerisms, the argument goes, which serve only to put barriers in the way of deeper connections.”
One reason I like this part is because she references the Romantic poets, many of whom wrote about sitting around, like Coleridge, under Lime Trees thinking about life, or transcendentalists like Henry David Thoreau, who took himself into the woods to think about life, and then there are the hippies who also liked to muse about life while being one with nature. All of the above indulged in high minded philosophical ideas by withdrawing from society, believing they had reached a more astute concept of our world. In other words, they had pretty good impressions of themselves as a result of coming to the conclusion that social interaction, and following social mores, was accepting the dictates of others rather than being true to themselves.
In a later paragraph, the author takes a somewhat critical view of introverts when she says: “self-indulgent introverts [risk] crossing the line into antisocial behavior.” Since we’ve spent so much time determining what it means to be an introvert, and learning how all personality types fall on a spectrum or continuum, I find her identification of introverts as self-indulgent a form of indictment. Nevertheless, there’s no doubt that they can be perceived as antisocial. It means something that some synonyms for antisocial includes terms like unfriendly, reclusive, standoffish, and even sociopathic.
We need to draw a distinction between the personality trait of introversion and being labeled as antisocial. However, there is a hazard that what is a personality trait to one person could appear to be acting unfriendly to another.
For a simple explanation of how some introverts function, I found this site helpful. There is something identified as Introversion.
And now we have the case of Martin Ellingham. There are signs that he falls somewhere on the Introversion scale. Similarly, there are signs that he is also rude and antisocial. We know he likes to withdraw into his house to read and work on clocks; but we also know he is willing to go to parties or out for a drink or dinner if the right person asks him (namely either Louisa or one of his aunts).
Finally, Dell’Antonia takes up the notion of control or self-determination, another one of our favorite subjects, when she states:
“I may be naturally reserved, and more comfortable alone than I will ever be in a crowd, but I am not at the mercy of my nature. There are many excuses for failing to conduct ourselves with courtesy, for avoiding gatherings and conversations we don’t think we will enjoy, or for just putting on our pajamas and staying home. Too many of them boil down to just that one thing: We care more about ourselves than about the needs of others.”
Maybe she’s right…some of us may be hiding behind the guise of introversion when we are really more concerned about ourselves than others. Perhaps introverts should force themselves to join in more, and perhaps they would like it if they did.
There is an aspect of ME that falls under the category of self-aggrandizement. He thinks he’s better than the idiots and ignoramuses living in Portwenn, and he feels perfectly justified telling them so. We laugh when he tells someone they would be stupid not to listen to his advice (or have been), but it is offensive at the same time. When they frequently call him a “tosser,” they are literally telling him he is being selfish and inconsiderate. Is that the writers telling us this character is simply rude? I mean, we have to be honest and admit that he crosses the line fairly often.
What do you think about this view of introversion? If there are still psychologists and social workers reading this blog, please let us know what your reaction is. (I know, I’m deliberately nudging you to respond. Still, I am interested.)
Originally posted 2016-09-25 15:29:48.