Time and Tide (apologies to Basia)

Recently on Facebook Santa decided to post her ideas of how S7 will progress. That led to a series of posts that made attempts at determining when certain scenes between Martin and Louisa take place and what they might indicate in terms of their relationship. As you all know by now, I am averse to speculating and like to depend on evidence whenever I analyze the show. As a result, I decided to see whether there is anything worthwhile I can contribute to this discussion. I am doing this on the blog because I prefer to express myself here and my post will be much longer than anything I would want to say on Facebook.

The two issues that seem to be of concern are when does the series begin and when do this couple appear to be getting along better. I have now gone back through the first episodes and final episodes of each series, and if history is prologue, there is a pattern that can be identified.

I realize they don’t have to stick with any time patterns. Nevertheless, I think there is a way to pin down their typical methodology. Also, I thought I would see if there is a pattern to how the Martin/Louisa relationship has been handled throughout the 6 series we’ve already viewed. One thing we know is they consistently set up reasons that cause them to separate from each other only to be drawn together again, most often through some sort of medical emergency. But maybe there’s a little more to it than that.

Let’s begin with the time passage between series: Most of the series begin very soon after the conclusion of the previous one. The shortest amount of time passage between series occurs between S4 and S5 where S5 begins the same day as S4 ended. Louisa has given birth at the pub at the end of S4 and S5 begins in the hospital where they went for her to be properly checked. The longest passage of time takes place between S3 and S4 because Louisa has moved to London following their decision not to marry. She returns in the first episode of S4 6 months pregnant which means she was gone for approximately 5 months. She must have been pregnant the day of the wedding and did not know it. The wedding is supposed to have been planned for three weeks after they first sleep together.

This gives us an expectation that S7 will be likely to fall between same day and around 5 months after S6 ended. Because Louisa has just had AVM surgery and is still recovering from a broken clavicle, we would expect her to need help at home. We know that Michael has turned himself into the army authorities and that leaves them without help at home with James Henry. We also know that Louisa has time off from school responsibilities at the time of her AVM surgery because she had planned use her school break to visit her mother in Spain before Martin retrieved her from the plane. If the first time we see Louisa is truly the picture we see in the iTV preview of shows for their Fall season, she is no longer wearing a sling and the sunglasses on her head seem to indicate she has been somewhere sunny. In my opinion, she would have had to have gone back home with Martin from the hospital, had a few days prior to feeling up to traveling, and spent some of that time talking about their plans. Perhaps Martin took a few days off from work to help with James. It would make sense to me that Louisa would want to keep her plan to fly to Spain to see her mother because her mother could help with James, she could be in a warm setting, and she could have time to think while Martin gets back to work. In addition there’s a likelihood that while she’s away, Martin’s mission was to find someone to take care of James once she and James return. That would mean that she had plans to return all along.

Except when Louisa leaves for London after their first wedding plans are canceled, Louisa has never left work. Being the headmistress at the school in Portwenn is what she wants to do with her time. Thus, she would be likely to want to return pretty soon. I could imagine that, due to her injuries, she was allowed to take more time off than the school break might have been, but she would be anxious to get back to work.

I would also have to guess that she knows that Martin has found a new child minder who will start upon Louisa’s return. It seems logical that she would not want to move back in with Martin immediately even though he wants her to. To me, it also is a good sign that Martin offers to have her stay in the surgery while he lives elsewhere. As others have said, having her in the surgery is a smart choice on his part because he knows he’ll see her fairly frequently. I also noted online that his decision to move instead of having her leave would be seen by her as very thoughtful and would be a touching gesture.

After that they have decided to find a therapist and seek marriage guidance. It seems clear that there will be many helpful suggestions by the therapist but also some things that go wrong. If it went smoothly we would all be suspicious and we would not recognize these characters.

Of course there are many secondary stories throughout the series, some of which involve medical emergencies. The medical emergencies that matter to this discussion are the ones that bring Martin and Louisa together. In every previous series we can easily pinpoint the medical emergencies that reunite this couple.

S1: Peter Cronk must be rushed to hospital for ruptured spleen. Martin and Louisa ride with Peter in the ambulance and spend the night waiting to find out if he’s all right. Despite Martin looking pleased that Louisa is with him, and despite Louisa running back into the hospital to tell off Adrian Pitts, Martin spoils their kiss during  the taxi ride home and Louisa throws him out of the car. This combination initiates what becomes the typical sequence for them: affection followed by some inappropriate comment by Martin that leads to Louisa being insulted and offended.

S2: We have two endings to this series but both work equally well with this pattern. In “Erotomania,” a medical condition he has while drinking wine causes Martin to fall asleep in the middle of kissing Louisa and just after telling her he loves her. She affectionately covers him and touches the back of his head when she leaves. I suppose calling this a medical emergency is a little strong, but the effect wine has on Martin is related to something medical. He ruins the incident the next day when she brings him something for a hangover and expresses love for him only to be accused by him of stalking. In “On the Edge,,” the baker falls down a cliffside and Martin must save him by drilling a hole in his skull to alleviate the pressure from a head injury. During the episode this couple have been tied together and forced to deal with a disturbed man, but it’s after the scene with the baker and Martin’s climb back to safety that Louisa is tender with him again. She wipes the blood on his cheek and is obviously worried about him. Martin has previously angered Louisa by insulting her father in an inappropriate manner.

S3: The first episode contains a medical emergency that brings them together. This time it’s Allison’s daughter Delph who is the catalyst. The episode ends with Louisa and Martin having a personal conversation and Louisa wanting him to be her doctor again. Of course, S3 is the one in which they have the concert date that ends with him ruining another kiss but then Louisa’s friend Holly falls and injures herself and redeems the relationship. Another medical emergency occurs when Louisa’s friend Isobel goes into labor unexpectedly and Martin and Louisa join together to deliver the baby. This time, however, the emergency delivery does not bring these two much luck. Louisa continues to be impressed with Martin’s medical skills, but the series ends with them parting ways.

S4: The most significant medical emergency in this series is Tommy’s methanol poisoning. Martin’s concern for finding Tommy and saving his life is accompanied by his even greater desire to make sure Louisa is safe. His pressing need to find Louisa ends with the delivery of their baby and one of the most passionate scenes of the show.

S5: Mrs. Tishell’s mental breakdown provides the situation that unites Louisa and Martin. Martin finally expresses his love for Louisa and she is comforted by his pledge to always love her.

S6: The most important medical emergency is the AVM surgery, although Louisa’s collision with a car shocks Martin out of his obstinate mood. They have some tender moments in the hospital in both cases. (The first episode of S6 uses an injury to the caravan owner to bring them together after they argue over how to get to the road and what Louisa might have liked for a honeymoon.)

S7: From what I can tell from pictures, there is a likelihood that Ruth suffers some medical emergency sometime early in the series. We also know that there is a scene in which the therapist has a car wreck and the nanny loses control of the stroller with James Henry in it. My sense is that neither of  these events leads to any serious outcome. Ruth appears again later in the series and the therapist and JH are not badly injured; however, I can easily imagine that Louisa and Martin would come together at these occasions. They probably incorporate these scenes as a way to follow the pattern they established in S1.

Using medical emergencies as a vehicle to unify these two gives Martin a chance to demonstrate his medical skills, which are the most confidence and strength building for him, while making clear to Louisa how much she admires him and finds him reassuring under particular stressful circumstances. In S7 the therapy sessions also bring them together, both while being seen by the therapist and when they unite to terminate the sessions.

When I looked back through these series, I was reminded of two important comments made by Louisa. The first was at the end of S3E1 when she tells Martin she worries about everything and what she’s doing with her life. The second was after the baby is born in S4E8 and she tells the baby “You’ll get used to him eventually.” The first remark gives us insight into her mindset and makes us aware that she isn’t nearly as confident as she acts. This scene is one of the few when she expresses her doubts to anyone. Maybe we’ll see more of that in therapy or as a result of therapy. The second makes clear that she knows Martin isn’t easy to be around, but that she plans to stay with him long enough for the baby to get used to him. I would expect that to mean far past the baby’s first year.

Martin has already been willing to admit that he needs help and has previously conceded that he’s made mistakes with Louisa. We shouldn’t forget that all of the preceding series lead up to this one and build on each other. I do not expect Louisa to ask for a divorce in S7 nor do I think she will be able to stop interacting with Martin for long. They may live separately, but Portwenn is too small and their lives too intertwined for them to avoid each other. Also, we have scenes with them doing things together early in the series. I think Martin Clunes is being sincere when he says they are going to find a way to get this couple back together again in this series. I know the going will be rocky, and that’s part of the fun, but I am looking forward to seeing how they set it up. I look forward to a series that brings back the humor, the awkwardness, and the miscommunications, but that ultimately includes affectionate scenes and a reconciliation.

Originally posted 2015-08-08 15:48:29.

19 thoughts on “Time and Tide (apologies to Basia)

  1. Santa

    I’m not necessarily disagreeing with what you say, especially the part about preferring to post here rather than on FB.

    The one thing about your analysis that troubles me is something that has always troubled me about the proposition that Louisa stayed with Martin while recuperating for a few days, — what on earth were they talking about? That is, surely Martin would have repeated some of what he said in the hospital, even if she had no memory of it (which I think she did). This was a man who had decided to go after her to Spain. Surely he told her that? So, I am just at a loss to understand why she then insisted on going off by herself (actually, we don’t know if she took James). Then when she comes back, she wants a separation.

    And, it also seems that until Aunt Ruth talks to her, she either hadn’t considered or agreed to marital counseling.

    I don’t know if I’ve made myself clear on this point: I fully expect them to reconcile in some unambiguous way, by the end of E8. I just believe that they’re in a deeper hole when the season starts than I think you believe. It seems to me that she’s not listening to him, or not hearing him, or not finding his protestations of willingness to change credible enough to change her mind about a separation.

    Of course you’re right. They can’t stay away from each other. Not only is it a small village, but they are co-parents. More important , there is a magnetic attraction between them, based on their recognition on some level that they complete each other.

    I do think Louisa wants to be with him if she can believe it’s at all possible. To this point though, I think she’s largely given up. So it will take all season to climb out of that hole.

    It’s possible though that she wanted a separation so they could work things out slowly, because if she had to leave another time, it would be for good. I sincerely hope that’s her view. But I think she’s at least undecided about what she wants, and probably leaning toward a more or less permanent separation.

    By the way, this plot line fits a certain pattern of story, where the hero at first achieves his goal, but then it all goes wrong because he has not changed inwardly. In the next stage he gains some self knowledge and lets go of his inner demons. (Which may be what his victory over Margaret is meant to be.). Then, and only then, can he reach his goal, unite with his beloved, etc. So all will be well, ultimately.

  2. Abby

    Santa, the one thing that argues against L wanting a permanent separation when she returns from Spain, is that she would not have agreed to stay in the surgery and have M move out, as that could never be a permanent solution.

  3. Santa Traugott

    True. She may have agreed to that to placate him temporarily, as he was pretty upset (from what we could see). She did apparently propose to move out herself, as she was the one who went to look for rental property. He may have pleaded with her not to do anything so permanent seeming as to move out until they had some more chance to try to work things out.

    She did, I think, stay at the surgery at least for a couple of days after she returned from wherever she was. That probably didn’t go so well either.

    To me, the fact that she wanted to go to Spain alone, even after he very likely offered to go with her and tried to convince her that he wanted to be a better husband, speaks volumes. They would have had the time, and the isolation, to talk through their issues and try to work things out and she chose not to take that opportunity. That says to me, that she really didn’t know whether she wanted to try again, and/or didn’t believe that a different outcome was possible.

  4. Santa Traugott

    P.S. I still think its nuts to decide that the best chance to work things out with your husband is to live separately. Maybe she just thinks its inevitable if they live together again they’ll fall back into their old patterns (which is basically what she said) and living together is just on not on the cards unless and until she has real evidence that it could and would be different. Right now, I just don’t think she thinks it’s at all likely.

  5. kjacobson@mindspring.com Post author

    I don’t know where to start. My initial thought about why Louisa would go back with him to the surgery when they leave the hospital is both for practical reasons and because she’s not in any condition to disagree. She knows he will take good care of her post-op and he will take good care of James Henry too. As he tells her in the hospital, she can’t travel at that point. He says she doesn’t have to come home, but really she does. Where else can she go? Unless some virtual friend appears to help her, she can’t stay alone. Plus, she can’t take care of James on her own.

    It isn’t a great situation for her since once again she has no autonomy, something she hates. Once she’s back home, I would imagine that Martin would be as solicitous as possible, but would he remind her of all the things he said in the operating room, etc.? We’d like to think he would, but he was already showing reticence about talking when he saw her after surgery. We can’t answer whether she remembers anything he told her after she was sedated until she says so. We all know, moreover, that once you have Versed, say for a colonoscopy, you can talk to others but you have no recollection of what you said, they said, or what happened during the procedure. She might not remember a thing.

    While recuperating they hopefully talked, and maybe he found a way to make some appeal to her. I have to guess his psychological status was pretty shaky too at this point. I mean, I doubt he had a sudden recovery and was no longer feeling any symptoms of depression. So, yes, she might be having trouble recovering as well as trying to handle all the other emotional elements taking place. A separation to Spain or wherever might be just the right thing to allow everyone some time and space to get their heads screwed on again.

    But she does come back and she does want to do something about their marriage. I think Abby makes a good observation when she says that Louisa wouldn’t agree to live in the surgery if she was planning on leaving him. That won’t surprise you since I think she never wanted to leave him; she just needs to figure out how best to proceed. He doesn’t ever make it easy.

    The scene that Abby recorded of them walking with James up the hill with a list of rental properties doesn’t look like he’s pleading with her. I actually don’t think he’s angry, more frustrated. And then someone yells to them from down the hill and once again their conversation is interrupted. She can’t go back to living under the same conditions. That’s clear. She simply needs some time alone, which is how she has lived for a long time before hooking up with Martin. Once she gets a chance to go back to work, re establish her routine, and take a breath, she can figure out how best to handle things. When they moved in together, they were both making a lot of compromises and upending their former living arrangements. I can see how time to think would be very helpful to her.

    At least we all expect them to reconcile by the end of the series. I like your reference to story and the hero’s role. We should always keep that sort of thing in mind here too. We are talking about how to create a good story as much as anything.

  6. Santa Traugott

    Well, of course, there’s always Louisa’s comment to Margaret in the airport: “I don’t know what I’m doing.” Which sounds about right.

    She may be well-er than we think. He told her she could go home that afternoon. And some have said that the arm sling is mainly a way to be sure that she doesn’t re-injure herself or keep it steady so as not to feel pain. So it’s not clear that she would have had to have a much of a period of recuperation.

    Martin seems like he experienced a very dramatic moment of insight and some catharsis. I don’t think he was retreating from his desire to be with her and his insight that he needed to change in the hospital room — he was being, I think, very humble and understood on what shaky ground he stood.

    I still think they had to have done some talking if she were around any period at all, and the best he could probably get out of her was “I’ll think about it.”

    The theme of this season is going to be “getting her back” not, working out our problems together (they’ll have to do that too of course sooner or later). That theme plays dramatically much better , in my opinion, than one in which she comes back from whatever sunny place she went, ready to work on their marriage. In that case, the only drama is how many times can Martin screw this up, and when will she let him move back in. It’s much more suspenseful and dramatic that there are real doubts as to whether he can win her back. For that reason alone, I think the startup will be pretty bleak.

    But — courting is inherently more romantic and more opportunities for lightness and comedy than the disintegration of a marriage, so I think the tone won’t be as dark as S6.

  7. Abby

    I’m not sure she would have had the emotional wherewithal after what she had been through to talk things through with him at that point. I think her system was in shock, and she needed time to recuperate. I agree that she was pretty down on the relationship when she returned, but I don’t think she had made a final decision yet.

  8. Abby

    Karen, just a small point of correction. The runaway stroller was not JH’s. I asked a number of people who were there and was told it belonged to somebody else. I think it was part of the whole accident scene, but L was focused on the therapist and not the stroller, so it makes sense that it wasn’t JH’s.

  9. kjacobson@mindspring.com Post author

    Well, if that’s true, I stand corrected. I thought JH’s nanny was pictured looking scared. Well, I still think they will have several occasions that will cause them to work together. I also think Louisa should be a mess after all she’s been put through.

  10. Abby

    I’m not at all sure we will ever be told what takes place between the surgery and L’s return from Spain. I imagine they will just pick it up the way they did in S4, and have L return unannounced either at the beginning, or more likely the end of E1. It’s likely she has been gone during all of the school break and so would be pretty much healed physically. She probably wants to move out almost immediately, as soon as she finds a place. I think you’re right that, in the scene I watched, M didn’t look angry, but frustrated and desperate. Btw, it was Al who called him away from that conversation.

    While I think L is feeling pretty negative about the possibility of reconciling with M, I don’t think she has made a final decision when she returns. It troubles me that, if I’m right and she returns unannounced, she is repeating her pattern in S4. I think this says something about L’s contribution to the problems in the marriage. She comes and goes without considering M’s feelings or sharing her growing unhappiness with him. Everything is after the fact – after she has already made her decision. She never sits him down and tells him how she is feeling in the relationship and what she needs from him to make it work. Like in S5, in S6 she becomes unhappy (with good reason) and just tells him that she is leaving. It is a MAJOR problem in a relationship when this happens. To feel safe in a relationship, especially in a marriage, the partners need to know that the other is committed to them for the long haul. Yes, sometimes divorce is the healthiest thing to do, but only as a last resort. L hasn’t even begun to explore ways to improve/save her marriage. The same is true for M, except he isn’t aware that the marriage is part of the cause of his depression. He believes his symptoms have a physical etiology. So, he is clueless, which really leaves it up to her to take the lead. She does ask him to go away with her and she offers to listen to him about what is troubling him, but by that time he is severely depressed. I am hoping that in S7 we will see L gaining some insight into her contributions to the problems in the marriage, as I hope M does. I also hope that what CC said is true; that L comes to accept that M will never be everything she wants him to be but loves him anyway.

  11. Santa Traugott

    Abby, don’t you think that at least part of Louisa’s problem is that she has always imagined that she knows Martin better than she actually does? I think we often see her making assumptions about how he would react that are actually mistaken. Two examples: most obvious, she assumes that he would pressure her to terminate her pregnancy. Also, after the birth of her bridesmaid’s baby at which Martin assisted, she turns down for him the bridesmaid’s request that he be the baby’s godfather, to which was apparent that Martin had been prepared to agree. So when they come to stumbling blocks in their relationship, she is quick to assume that he won’t want to or be able to change, or even understand what she needs, and so she just takes off. I really hate the “Louisa wars” but here I do think she is very much at fault. Maybe it is because her own style is so intuitive, that she can’t understand that a) she can be wrong and b) that others don’t operate that way and need to be communicated with in a different way.

  12. Santa Traugott

    I agree. It would be very hard to make a final decision to end a marriage with a man you deeply loved, even if you had been very unhappy and had concluded that the relationship was probably not salvageable, and not good for you. I think she would at least have been in the mood to temporize, not quite ready to face up to the real grief that decision would bring both of them.

  13. Abby

    I think you are absolutely right, Santa. L is just as much in her own head as M in a way. She thinks that what is in her head is reality when it’s only her perception of reality. And, her perception of M is so often way off base. But she never communicates her hurts and frustrations. She just lets them build up and then leaves. I think she leaves partially before he can leave her (which I don’t think he would ever do). But, she never checks anything out. I hope that the therapist helps her see her part in this. Goodness knows M has his own major contributions to deal with. When I work with couples, I talk about a partner’s part in or contribution to problems, not fault or blame.

    I just flashed on the picnic scenes in S7, and it occurred to me why I have always felt uncomfortable with them. I could be wrong, but I imagine M didn’t have much choice in that activity but felt he had to go along with it. My discomfort with it stems, I think, from it being symbolic of a complete lack of collaboration with this couple. I’m guessing that L pushed for this outing, rather than having a discussion about what they could do for an enjoyable family activity. M may have been more agreeable to a picnic up on the cliffs, away from prying eyes. In addition to his not liking the venue, I think he felt embarrassed that he was the object of ridicule (which may or may not have been the case). Maybe I’m making too much of this, but watching those scenes makes me uncomfortable (while also seeing the humor in them) for some reason.

  14. kjacobson@mindspring.com Post author

    I, too, agree that they depict Louisa as jumping to conclusions that are often wrong. We can follow this trend from her assumption in S1 that M hasn’t visited Roger Fenn in the hospital to her invitation to Penhale’s party that she expects him to turn down, and then her assumption that he wouldn’t have wanted her to keep the baby and doesn’t want to be included in the pregnancy, etc. We’ve generally noticed that her solution to their conflicts is to leave, which truncates any chance they have to talk things out. For his part, he isn’t inclined to talk either. So there we have it, misinterpretations, miscommunications, interruptions during conversations. We can easily pick out the few times in 6 series when they have had a personal conversation of any length. If meeting with a therapist actually gets them to talk to each other, that will be an accomplishment in itself!

    I also think the picnic at the beach was not a choice Martin would have made and he looks it. However, he’s not likely to want to go anywhere and mostly wants to stay home, especially in S6. That scene is definitely meant to be funny and incongruous. They’re wearing street clothes, the food is not what Martin would normally eat, he looks totally uncomfortable sitting on that blanket, and then a boy throws a frisbee into the space and the dog rescuer starts waving a wooden bat around dangerously. My view of it, though, is that M is making the effort and time to go when he previously turned Louisa down cold about any outings, Louisa has a pleased expression on her face for much of it, and Martin shows his protective side when the frisbee intrudes and when the bat is being swung around. All in all, the positives outweigh the negatives for me, and I laugh at the same time.

    They are both to blame for their marital troubles and the best we can expect is that they reach a mutual understanding that they both must change. If we agree that this show is never going to conclude with this couple deciding to end their marriage, then we have to stop looking at the various scenes with what ought to happen in real life. What we’re looking for is all the steps forward coupled with all the stumbles throughout 8 episodes until they reach a point where they can plausibly walk away together again.

  15. Santa Traugott

    I wonder if anybody thinks it’s at all possible that Martin develops some reservations (or reticence, as Karen put it) about trying to get Louisa back. If he perhaps did some hard thinking about whether he could change or actually did “deserve” Louisa, and wasn’t sure of the answer, or at least conflicted. Or he was hurt/angry b/c she did choose to leave him after the hospital at some point, presumably asking him not to come with her, for whatever reason. Or if it occurred to him (also) that there were some issues that needed to be resolved before they tried living together again. Here I’m thinking of the odd little scene we saw where Danny tried to tell Martin that Louisa was unhappy and what was he going to do about it (or something to that effect). I wonder if both of them experience some kind of “push-pull”? I don’t think it’s the likeliest scenario but moment of insight don’t do ALL the work of change, and we’ve seen before his his hurt feelings get in the way of their really communicating.

  16. kjacobson@mindspring.com Post author

    Just so you’re clear about what I was saying…I was proposing that Martin was reticent about talking and fell back into his typical tendency to have trouble expressing himself when visiting Louisa after surgery. I was not suggesting that he may no longer want to get back together with her. In fact, I take it as given that he will always want to be with her and his answer to Ruth when she asks him that directly is, “Of course I do.”

  17. Santa Traugott

    I didn’t think you were suggesting that he was reluctant, Karen. That’s a small niggle that’s been in my own mind — does he have second thoughts, reservations, some kind of conflict that leads to him behaving obstructively, whether “on purpose” or not. I don’t think it’s at all likely, and I think that he will indeed be whole-hearted in his pursuit of Louisa — but I don’t rule it out entirely.

  18. Linda

    Emotions are very important to our well being. Many seriously depressed people pay no attention to the “state” of their emotions even though the body IS giving signals. Martin is not one to put much stead into such ideas so as his body continually gives him signals, he does not connect them to his failing emotional condition. He tries to THINK his way out – to “soldier on” in the hopes of finding a palpable answer. His insomnia, (exhaustion in fact), his tension and growing irritability, and his slow withdrawal from social interaction, even with the two people he loves and who love him most, are classic signs of a deepening depression. His body is chaos but he would rather do nothing in the hopes it will all get better on it’s own. This is how he has coped during his whole life. He feels admitting to emotional distress is a sign of weakness and no doubt wishes not to be seen as inadequate or unworthy. He blames himself for the problems and thinks only he can solve things. Thus, the downward spiral continues. Louisa is made of a different fabric. No doubt she worries about Martin’s emotional decline and could possibly understand it, given her training. This might have happened if not for the fact that she takes things personally. Martin has never meant to hurt her but in his emotional state at the end of S6, it seems inevitable that his abysmal behaviours would trouble her greatly and put her off from REALLY feeling his pain. She has also been through a lot, physically and emotionally. I think she would have had to return home to the surgery to recuperate and surely, after what was said in the hospital when he visited, they would have had some discussion as to how to move ahead. If she didn’t hear his speech in the operating room, she would surely have at least realized he really did try to come to Spain after her. I know I would have questions about what had happened! She may have decided to go to a warm place to recuperate after she regained her strength. He may have encouraged this as long as she was well enough to travel. I don’t think divorce was on her mind at all – but she needed space to clear her head after all that had happened. I think she returned with a plan to separate while they worked things out. His decision to move out was a good idea because it was less difficult for him to go and because they would see more of each other. I agree that neither of them was ready to face the grief that a divorce would bring. I think they are both trying to find their way back – all the while walking on eggshells.

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